I am reading a wonderful work of fiction right now. It is about a relationship between girls who become women over the course of a decade and a half of their lives. Money vs. working class. Well-traveled vs. hometown. Divorce vs. parents who stay together, and the complications of each. It is about choices, freedom, sexuality, exploration and discovering who you are and how you fit into the world of morality and acceptance.
The central theme though revolves around religion. One is Jewish. One is Christian. There is a line in the story during one of the girls' conversations that sorta sets a tone for many more of their discussions. They are walking in a cemetery, drinking beer and dancing around with their teen-age summer boyfriends, and they come to the Hebrew portion of the cemetery, all walled off. The Jewish-faithed girl says "Hey, I could be buried here." And, as teenagers who are drunk walking through graveyards do, she lays down on one of the graves. Her friend, laying down next to her so they can look at stars together says "If there is only one God, what difference does it make to Him what part of the ground you are buried in?"
I haven't finished the book yet, so I can't tell you what the author wants us to figure out. What I do know is that it was heavy enough on my mind that I asked my kids about how they see religion in their world.
To give you some background, I am a former Catholic. My mother is still Catholic, and attends mass weekly. My father is an un-baptised Baptist who grew up with Jesus, but no church. I, at one point in my confusion-about-what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up phase, studied to take Catholic Order Novitiate vows. They would have worked for me, until a priest told me during one of my lessons that all women, and especially nuns, would be subservient to ALL men, not just priests, as all men are closer to God than women could or would ever be. Yeah, that was about the time I realized I was going to be okay with poverty and chastity, but would have a huge huge problem with the vow of obedience. I decided wearing a habit really wasn't going to work for me after all. I also decided that being Catholic was not gong to work for me, either.
I explored several "religions and churches" for a while, especially during college, always coming to the same conclusion: The religion wanted me to follow their rules without question and never, not once, ever have my own thoughts and communion with God without their guidance. I was not a good fit for any of them. I wanted to know the Whys, and the What-fors, and be able to seek what I wanted in my home, and through the sanctity of everything.
So come to today, and I am feeling more sure about my choices than ever. I had a five minute (age appropriate) conversation with my kids. What I had been teaching them about critical thinking, self understanding, and not needing a group to tell you what to do had been sinking it. They don't like going to the church their father insists they attend with his new wife. They call it baby church, like a bunch of people who don't really know what they want or what to believe, so they get together and light a Christ candle, and sing songs from Broadway musicals, and eat cheese slices and apple wedges in the common room. I have checked out their service and kid program, and it is all very fluffy. A little bit of you, a little bit of me, while claiming Christianity as it's umbrella. Wusses. My kids whine about going, but when made to, eat cheese and paint in the playroom. I think this is funny.
I bring this ideal to them: that God is not a person up in the sky moving the actions of humans in judgment like chess pieces. I tell them if you really want to know self-spirituality, question everything. Make the choices that work for you. Everything is sacred, and nothing is. Respect the uses of the world, not so that you can get into heaven, but so that living in THIS world is not hell. And that you leave more than what you took. And treat everyone the way you want to be treated. And that what you send out is what you get back. Three-fold in both blessings and in fear. And that there are many books that can help you, and friends that can speak to your heart. A little Buddha, a little Jesus, a little Mohammad, a little Dr. Seuss, a little Harry Potter, a little girl who sits on the other side of the classroom, a little cloud floating by, a little good sleep, a little 70's sitcoms, a little stream in the woods, a little cotton candy. It is all good, and can be all bad. It is how YOU make it out to be that makes all the difference. Oh yeah, and more than a little LOVE is probably the best thing anyone's got going on.
So from the a story plot-point asking about if there is only one God, who cares about burial plots, all the way to that my kids get love demonstrated for them everyday, I figure that was a pretty good way to have the morning before Spring Break start off. That, and the hysterical laughing fit we had when Haysten decided that God could be found in hitting his sister with a pillow. Yes, my life is good.
I will let you know what happens with the characters in the story. I hope the author figures it out for them, since I think I am doing pretty good in my world.
