Gratitude. A not complete list. Just a list for today. A small micro-shift in my outlook.
1) Coffee. Not having
an allergy to coffee. The social aspect of coffee. Having coffee made for me. Having the coffee made for me brought to
me. Having my own travel mug for the
coffee made for me.
2) A job. Accrued time to take off from the job. The paycheck that the job provides. The money from that paycheck that lets me pay
for my life. A boss who gets that I have a life.
3) My ex-husband’s claim of sobriety. My ability to see how his lack of sobriety
affects me. My ownership of how toxic
our relationship was. My ability to see my role in our toxic behavior. My belief that genuine sobriety exists and
that he can have it. My self-trust that
I can see myself clearly with or without his sobriety.
4) My children. Everything about their amazingness in this
world. The knowledge that we can fight
and still be amazing. Faith that they
know I am doing my best. My best being
good enough. Their best being good enough.
5) Chocolate.
6) This quote: “The light at the end of the tunnel is not an
illusion. The tunnel is.”
7) Email. Spell
check. Keyboards with backspace keys. Not immediately hitting the send button.
8) Willingness. Openness. Honesty. Mistakes. Forgiveness.
Ownership. Freedom to take another path.
9) People. People in my world who keep showing up even when
their path is hard, too. People who love
me. People who see me. People who
talk. People, who, when they talk, talk
with me and not to me. People who are
flawed. People who are human. People I have the grace and good fortune to
be allowed to love. People who let me
in. People who hold my hand. People who kiss my tears. People I
trust. People who trust me. People, who,
when they read this, if they read this, know who they are.
10) Journeys. Growth. Change. Progress. Backsliding.
Learning. Sharing. Giving and receiving support. Letting go and holding on. Knowing when each
is important. Knowing how. Failing at knowing
how. Starting again. Trusting that I am
on the path I am supposed to be on. Hope,
that when I am not on the right journey, something with guide my path. Never giving up. Acknowledgement that if I
can change, I can hope for it and see it in someone else. Holding hands while on the journey so as not
to get in each others way.
11) Emotions. Every single one. No hiding. No Fear. I get them all. That any single emotion is not
all-consuming. That the strongest
emotion is love. That love really does
work. That I can love without apology
and without regret. That I can be all in
and not lose any part of myself to it when I remember to do it from a place of
love. That the people in #9 get them, too.
Humility to understand that I cannot control someone elses emotions, nor have
any right to. The wisdom not to try.
12) Happiness. Not as
an emotion, but as a state of being. Knowing I can claim it and not take
anything away from anyone else. Grace to not flaunt it. Happiness where
happiness is.
13) The amazing power of truth.
