So today, one of my employees (who also happens to be a friend) walks into my office regarding a tax withholding question. It is my job to explain the leave and earning statement so I ask him to take a seat. He says that it is not a question for him, but for a friend in the department. I said I could answer general questions, but nothing specific for the person unless he or she wanted to bring in the right paperwork, but yes, I was willing to help.
This is what I got instead: How could a woman who is married to a man who was previously married and is in arrears in his child support make it so the government would not take their tax return to pay the debt?
It was all I could do not to take the baseball bat I keep under my desk out and smashing the employee’s head in.
Yeah, I said it. I wanted to kill him. I kept it together, but only just barely. I told him that no, I could not help someone figure out how to defraud the District Attorneys’ Office out of the legally mandated way to collect due child support. I told him that no, I did not know how to have the employee change her withholding so that none of “her” money would be considered in their joint tax return. I told him that no, I could not recommend a good tax attorney or accountant, and that no, the tax center here could not help.
I gave him the brochure to the Employee Assistance Plan, and the links to the online pay site to share with the employee who did not come in. Then, I asked him to close my office door.
***(Disclaimer: Most of the serious profanity happened in my head. Some slipped out, I am not saying which, but some did. The intent was loud and clear though.)***
I asked him if he knew if the other employee knew her husband had a child and was not paying his child support? (She does.) I asked him if she knew that she, as his wife, was responsible for the debt if they filed joint tax returns? (She knows.) I asked him if she was stupid to stay married to the husband? (He said “Probably, but she loves him.”) I was angry, and let him know that while I can support a woman’s right to be with whatever prick they chose to be with, fucking with his kids from a former marriage was a total douche bag thing to do. What the hell was she thinking when she whined about her tax return being seized? What the fuck was she doing to get herself involved with, much less marrying a guy who doesn’t care about his past responsibilities? Why the fuck didn’t she pay, or make him pay, the child support all along?
My friend tried to defend her, saying she was a good person, the guy was being screwed in the custody, that they were poor… blah blah blah. I wouldn’t have any of it. I said that custody and support have nothing to do with each other, that children still need to eat. I said that burying your head in the sand as you stand by and watch your man screw over his own children makes you just as much of a worthless piece of shit. I said that if she was doing nothing for his children and their tax return got taken, then good, they deserved it. Fuck them. I also asked him why it mattered to him at all.
This was about the time that the movie plot happened, and the phone rang, saving me from having to hurt him, and him having to lie about where he got his injuries. I had been rolling the baseball bat around with my foot during the whole conversation. I came back to my professional voice and when he stepped out of my office while I was on the phone I asked him to keep the door open.
About 15 minutes later I get an email from him apologizing for asking me about it. I apologized for anything I said that was rude, and told him to please give the paperwork I had previously given him to his co-worker. He wrote back and said he had already, and thanked me for the information. We had lunch two hours later, and it was fine. He got it, I got it, our friendship intact without apologies about stupid people. The burrito was delicious. He paid my tab.
I know exactly why this whole thing angered me. If you have read my blog you will know, too. What I didn’t know until I started writing all this down is how strongly I feel about it. My next step, I just realized, is that now I have to figure out what to do about it. Simply being a woman who might periodically stand her ground, to a person who’s friendship quells the fire I was feeling, will not be enough. Not in the long term. So having now told the story, I will have to do something about it. Damn. Just when I think my life is on a smoother than usual path, the stupid path-less-traveled shows up. More work.
