We were in your car, and you were driving too fast on a really long wooden pier towards a docking platform for a ferry we were going to catch. The ferry wasn't there yet, and I kept asking you to slow down. This went on for a while. We were over the water a long time. I was asking you over and over to just stop, get out, watch the water together for a while. You wouldn't.
Eventually you looked over at me, then sped up and crashed through the rail at the end, plunging the car, and us, into the water.
As the car went down, I reached my hand over and unclicked your seatbelt, then unclicked mine and started pushing on my door until the water balance allowed it to open. I swam up, and over, and reached a ladder that ran the depth of the piling on the edge of the dock, and climbed out.
The water was really deep, but crystal clear, as I looked back down to surface level to see the car now sitting on the bottom, full of water and sunk, weirdly still running. I could see my open door. I could see you were able to move, but you just sat there, still revving the engine and banging your hand on the steering wheel. I knew you were completely unaware that you were drowning, and very angry that the thing you had always thought you had been in control of was failing you.
There was no one else around, empty dock, no boats on the very still ocean. Eventually the ferry pulled in and blocked my view of the car. I got on, and the ferry pulled away. I could make out the car for a little while, but then I stopped looking and went to the front of the boat.
I woke up and I cried. You know how that works. You have been there for them.
One day I hope you figure out how to stop being angry long enough to realize the car is going nowhere. Your seatbelt is unbuckled. Your door can open if you push on it, and the other door is already open. Even if you can't swim there is a ladder on the dock, and you can, if you want to, climb out of the water.
The ferry isn't coming back, and I'm gonna be fine even after the crash you caused. But maybe someday you will realize you owe me an apology because I tried, and you will know how to reach me.
Dry off first. There is probably a pay phone at the far end of the pier.
I loved you.
I loved you.
